Thursday Afternoon Baseball

It's a get away day for many MLB teams today, and there are a ton of games this afternoon, Twins-Tigers, Giants-Mets, Cards-Phils, Reds-Cubs and Mariners-A's. Pitching matchups-
Braden Looper vs Jamie Moyer in Philly, Barry Zito vs. John Maine in New York, Kevin Slowey vs Kenny Rogers in Detroit, Jorge De La Rosa vs. Dave Bush in Milwaukee, let's get going, shall we?

1:05 PM- Live from Philly, it's Cards v. Phillies. JA Happ was optioned to Lehigh Valley so that he wouldn't miss any turns during the All Star break. Harry Kalas, who is as smooth as Black Velvet, is calling the game. Moyer gives up a walk to Ryan Ludwick and does battle with Albert Pujols. Wasn't Pujols supposed to have major elbow surgery as soon as the Cards were out of contention? Oh wait, the Cards are still in it. Pujols lines a single into left and we have first and second with one out and the nimble Troy Glaus at the plate. Glaus K's, bringing up Rick Ankiel. He hits a screaming liner that glances off Moyer's glove and Chase Utley makes a fabulous glove scoop to nab Ankiel at first. 1 hit 2 left, Phils due up...

1:19 Pm- Jimmy Rollins grounds out to second, while Shane Victorino lines a broken bat single to right. That brings up one Chase Utley, who beats out a double play grounder to bring up one of Jarred Fogle's good friends, Ryan Howard. Howard's average and OBP are both putrid this year, his K rate is horrid, yet he is among the league leaders in home runs and RBI's. It's like watching Mo Vaughn minus the bat waggle.

As Looper and Howard battle, I can't help but think of how bad Looper was with the Mets. He was basically run out of town, now he is a successful starter with St Louis. This makes me wonder, why doesn't every pitcher out there who is on the cusp of fading away make a beeline for St Louis? The amount of ability they get out of pitchers is unheard of, it's like Denver

Broncos running backs. Howard has fouled off about 5 pitches now, and it's a 3-2 count. The 10th pitch of the bat is a high line drive to left-center and, in the words of Harry ,"It's outta here!!!!!" 2-0 Phillies.

Pat Burrell, who is currently trailing Corey Hart and David Wright for the last All-Star slot in the NL, lines out to right. Phils 2-0, probably heading to SNY next...

1:38 pm est- Gary Cohn and Ron Darling in Shea talking about how much power Fernando Tatis has. He is on second base with a double. Carlos Delgado attempts to get on base by pretending to be hit by a pitch, but to no avail . Delgado is hitting .429 this month. The Mets have been pretty hot as of late and now there are rumors of Jerry Manuel contract extension. Good lord. Delgado flies out to left, Nick Evans does the same, and after an intentional walk to Brian Schneider John Maine grounds out to first. Where's Keith Hernandez?

1:57 pm- Off to Detroit, and we are watching on FSN Detroit. Twins are up 2-1 in the top of the 4th, I'm sure they are glad to get out of Boston. The Tigers have Santa Claus there today, how hot must that guy be? I can see the headline now "Christmas in July Idea Causes Tragedy". Matt Joyce (no relation to James) hits a bomb to right and we are tied at 2. The Home run call was awful by the way. I would repeat it, but I'm not going to give it justice. The red-hot Marcus Thames, gets on thanks to an infield single and makes it second on Nick Punto's throwing error. Slowey looks off today, and it showed when he gives up a single to 1st baseman Jeff Larish and the Tigers take lead. Someone cue the Tiger roar. Lets head back to Philly....

2:13 pm- It's 3-1 Philly and the eternally boring Geoff Jenkins is at the plate. He stops in the box and stares after hitting a pop-up (which goes foul) and gets lambasted by Gary Matthews, Sr for not hustling. I wonder if Manuel will bench him like he did J-Roll.?Jenkins makes up for it with a single to left. Pedro Feliz follows with a single to left of his own, and now we have runners on first and second with 1 out. Chris Coste is at the dish now. I wonder if he made more for his book "the 33 Year-old Rookie" than he has in baseball? I'm disappointed none of these teams have commercials as good as the Brewers Sausages (I don't know whats worse, the Sausages choreography or the way the kid steals a slice of bologna as his his mom squeezes the life out of him). Coste pops out to second, although Adam Kennedy really had to battle the wind to snare it and we have 2 down and Jamie Moyer up. He blasts a check swing grounder to the pitcher and the Cards are out of it unscathed.

2:22 pm- The Applebees commercials, where the two little girls do Jon Cena's "You can't see me dance", they have to end (If anyone can download that to YouTube for me, I think John Corbett does the voiceover for it, and I'll give you some free pub). ALYSSA MILANO is in the booth on Comcast Philly! She is there to talk about her clothing line "Touch". Maybe she's a baseball groupie, but holy god she's still hot. The Phillies Phanatic is the best smelling mascot in baseball according to Alyssa. Now we have token shots of chicks in her clothing line. Braden Looper is the best-hitting pitcher in the NL, btw. Suck on that Micah Owings! Double play turned nicely by J-Roll. I really wish someone would ask her if she will ever do a sequel to "Embrace of the Vampire". I think she's flirting with with Gary Matthews, as he asks her "So you like tattoos?" and Alyssa coyly responds "Only two of them are showing". Why does my fastball top out at 48 mph? WHY? DAMN YOU GOD!!!!!! Adam Kennedy grounds out and the inning is over, which means Alyssa is now gone. They send her off with some music from :Who's the Boss" though, nice "Touch" (ba-dum-cha).

2:36 pm- Chris Wheeler is in the booth for another inning for the Phils, so we will head back to Shea. The Phils rotate about 400 people in and out of the booth during a game. What's the story with that? Channel 625, SNY here we come.

2:38 pm- John Maine is throwing well, Mets are up 3-1 in the top of the 5th. Bary Zito is batting a robust .087. Zito plays guitar for his family's rock group. Does anyone else think "Partridge Family?" Ralph Kiner is in the booth with Gary and Ron. It sounds like they had to wake him up to get him to talk. Darling is unhappy that some of the younger fans are at Shea with Yankees gear on. Giants have 2 on, 2 out thanks to Zito and Fred Lewis walking. Randy Winn has a 2-2 count. Awkward exchange between Darling and Kiner after Winn swings at a ball out of the zone to make 1-2.

Kiner: A little "help me out swing" right there.

Darling: "Thank you very much" (referring to the swing)

Kiner: You're welcome.

3-2 count on Winn, Maine just cant get anything in the strike zone but a fastball with no movement, and Winn lines a two run double to left and the Giants tie it up at 3 here in the 5th. With that John Maine is 'Boom, outta here!"

2:52 pm- Awkward commercial with a guy being called "cuddle bear" and being followed by the Verizon guy.

3:00 pm- Harry is back in the booth as the Phillies lead 4-1. Chris Duncan cleans Jimmy Rollins's clock with a cheap shot to break up a potential double play. Duncan gets booed off the field, and for good reason. That was interference, no doubt about it. Rollins makes a bad throw to first and the inning continues with runners on first and third for Kennedy. Lots of pop for kennedy, he has homerun so far this season. Interestingly he has more than Victor Marinez had before he got hurt. At the end of this inning we are going to Chicago for Cubs-Reds, bob Brenly usualyy good for a few laughs. J-Roll makes amend, throws a striek to first and the Phils get out a of a jam. To Chicago...

3:06 pm- It's 3-1 Chicago at the end of the second. What a screw job, the FSN Cincy feed is the only one in HD, no Brenly. Dammit! Back to Philly...

3:09 pm- Greg Dobbs is pinch-hitting for Moyer. Moyer's final line- 7IP, 7 Hits, 1 Earned Run, 4 K's. Dobbs gets on with a single and it's time for J-Roll. Oh look the Phanatic's ass. Wonderful. Russ Springer is in the game for the Cards. Apparently when you get to St Louis and you're a pitcher, you have to grow a goatee, especially if you are in the pen. 44,241 is the attendance in Philly today. Rollins is really scufflling at the plate right now, if he and Shane Victorino can get going then the Phils should make it through the rest of the season. If not, then, well, ugh....

Rollins nearly takes out a ball girl on a liner that went foul. Springer is very concerned with Dobbs at first. Victorino ended up on first and got revenge for Duncan's take-out slight, albeit a lot less dirty.

3:35 pm- Sorry for the break, my 3 year old thought that drinking orange juice directly out of the carton would be a good call. Not so much. Scoreboard watch- Phils 4-1 bot 8th; Det 6-3 bot 8th; Mets 5-3 bot 7th; Milwaukee 7-1 bot 4th; Cincy4-3 top 4th.

3:40 pm- Fernando Tatis hits a two run homer and gives the Mets a 5-3 lead. Tatis has 4 rbi's today. Unbelievable. Apparently darling was right about the Tatis's power.

3:48 pm- Ryan Madson is on to close it out for Philly, Brad Lidge is unavailable today (just a day off). A lead-off single to Ankiel, a fly out from Molina, a steal by Ankiel and we are up to date. Duncan, fresh off a cheap shot on Rollins, steps in and now has a 2-1 count. He walks, and Madson fails. JC Romero is in to take a crack at it, now....

3:53 pm- Mets now up 7-3, bottom of the 7th. The red hot Mets. Yuck.

3:57 pm-Romero comes in and gets someone out. Brendan Ryan is all that stands between the Phillies and a win. The 3-2 pitch is popped up to Utley, JC Romero has the 4th save of his career, and Ryan Howard is the player of the game with 2 home runs. Nice win for the Phils, great pitching from Moyer. Now if you will excuse me, I have to fix this blog's layout, quickly. Be on the PM Jab around 4:45 pm in case you can't get enough of me....