BREAKING NEWS

Multiple sources are reporting that Adam "Pacman" Jones has been suspended indefinitely by the league following the latest incident--which involved police responding to a call from hotel employees about an alleged altercation involving Jones and his round the clock security guards--to involve the talented corner back. Jones will sit out for at least four games before Roger Goodell makes a decision on the future of the Cowboys corner.

A side note, written in honor of the Budweiser's Real Men of Genius series.

Welcome Cowboys fans to the land of What Coulda been

With the injury to Tony Romo that will keep him sidelined for the next 4 weeks, the loss of your Pro-Bowl punter, the question surrounding Roy Williams' return, the loss of starting corner back Terrance Newman possibly out for the next 6 weeks, Felix Jones being out the next 2-4 weeks, and the possible meltdown of your star receiver, I would, as a Patriots fan, like to welcome the Cowboys’ fans across America to the land of ‘What coulda been if we coulda stayed healthy’. (That's a lot of guys hurt)

Now, you will wonder if your team can beat the Raiders, and what the hell you will get from your quarterback who might be better suited for a career that requires his asking, ‘Paper or plastic ma’am’. (Johnson and Cassel really suck)

Yes, your dreams of a Super Bowl have been dashed and destroyed as your team, once thought to be the power of the NFL, has dropped 2 of its last 3, and with games against the Bucs, Redskins, Eagles, Steelers, and two against the Giants, you could drop below .500 faster than my heart dropped at the sight of my team’s season being severed in two by Bernard Pollard’s helmet. (Ouch that's gonna hurt for 16 weeks)

So grab some cold ones, and get ready to just not give shit every Sunday, because what the hell, both #81s are about to go into complete shut down mode, and our quarterbacks can't throw 40 yards with a nerf football. (What the hell's the point)

(Welcome Cowboys fans to the land of what coulda been.)