Here Come the Coaches!

Have you ever wondered which college coaches would make the best QB or Wideout or Linebacker? Well, probably not...but I have. So I put together a team of coaches that I guarantee could whoop the Bengals ass (and maybe have a smaller criminal record). Here you go...

OFFENSE:

QB: Jim Harbaugh, Standford...Come on, no brainer. He has to wear his Captain Comeback headband though.

RB: Nick Saban, Alabama...Small, scrappy, chippy, and a dick. Hey, we have a running back!

FB: Ken Niumatalolo, Navy...Knows a variety of offenses, relatively young, and has the discipline

needed to bash heads.

LT: Stan Brock, Army...He may be 50, but he could still pancake any fool that gets in his way. He also was walking 2 miles a day two weeks after surgery for prostate cancer. If I had that surgery, I would be curled up in bed with an ice pack under my butt 2 weeks later...

LG: Charlie Weis, Notre Dame...Slight knee problem right now, but the Irish big man never

backs down from anyone...or a meal

C: Mark Mangino, Kansas...Enough said.

RG: Tom Amstutz, Toledo...Good size, thick neck...should be able to keep his ground.

RT: Phil Fulmer, Tennessee...Practically hasn't done anything in ten years, and it's all gone to his gut.

TE: Paul Wulff, Washington State...A lineman by trade, he thinned down and bit, but still can wreck through a line.

WR: Randy Shannon, Miami...Good size for the position...looks to be in very good shape still.

WR: Rick Neuheisel, UCLA...He's cocky enough, still in good shape...and has been in trouble quite a bit. Man, he is a natural wideout. Might have problems staying on team if he plays in another NCAA Tourney pool though...

DEFENSE:

DE: Ron Prince, Kansas State...Good size, deceptive speed, Prince should be able to get to the QB...before he gets fired.

DT: Ralph Friedgen, Maryland...He...will...not...be...moved.

DE: Bret Bielema, Wisconsin...Young, strong, and agile...wait, that's not code for anything.

OLB: Les Miles, LSU...He may look small, but this guy used to play the line.

ILB: Sylvester Croom, MSU..Just look at that picture...it screams "I'm going to @#$% you up".

ILB: Dan Hawkins, Colorado...After a tackle you will hear "This aint intramurals brotha".

OLB: Mark Dantonio, Michigan State...The man who never looks happy, can take his frustration out on the QB.

CB: Greg Schiano, Rutgers...Small, fast, upset being stuck in Jersey...nothing more to be said.

SS: Rich Rodriguez, Michigan...He still has the size to hurt some people physically...He already emotionally destroyed an entire state.

FS: Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State...He's a man...he's 40...that's 40 years of experience in reading quarterbacks

CB: Turner Gill, Buffalo...Very athletic, and should know most throws, considering his team allows them all.

K: Mike Leach, Texas Tech...They always say the kicker is the oddball of the group. Well, Leach is a nut case.

P: Joe Paterno, Penn State...He needs to make the team, plus he still does run that field.

(many thanks to mjd from shutdowncorner.com for the help)