NBA Tells Butler "No More Straw-Chewing"; Running With Scissors Next?

Dallas Mavericks forward Caron Butler, who apparently has an oral fixation of some sort, has been chewing straws during NBA games for years. Now that he plays on a team people give a damn about, the NBA has made it into a safety issue, declaring "It's against the rules".

Next on the agenda for the NBA:

• Not allowing players to swim for an hour after eating
• Banning running with scissors
• Banning eye-crossing because "they'll stay that way permanently"
• Forcing to players to wear coats in the cold so they don't catch pneumonia

Can you think of any more rules the NBA can come up with to treat their players like 2-year olds?

NBA to Butler:No chewing straws (The Oklahoman)